TMFB WEEK 7

Vol 7. No. 7

(breathing comes to a slow, still seething at Mike Pettine that bald motherfucker)

Behold Machucando! The defeated Chief limps before you. Loser of 3 straight,  fresh off a Monday night heartbreaker to Jav Vanbiesbrouck and sitting as el capitan mandinga himself who can’t catch a fuckin break, I have nothing left in the tank. 

My head is still spinning on this Tuesday as off the field issues have consumed Jackson Hole since Friday. No need to worry though. My pants are on, my pockets flush and I’ve got enough T in me to supply a limp linguini festival with a thunder muscle pick me up. All is well with work. All is well with the Dolphins. And at 24 days away from the start of basketball, all is well with the Gators. I’ve been forced to tread lightly all over the internets as around every corner lay a potential BOMBEE. That’s right. I’m one bad click away these days from having a potential scandal. And let’s just say my reaction isn’t going to quite be much like this thuckas:

I’ve said too much! And that’s all I’m going to say about that. I’ve barely had the gut to come into Yahoo and check on everyone following another week in the league shitter, but enough blubbering about my shit squad and how I’m already pouring over catering ideas for next year’s auction in Vegas.   

Let’s get to what you came here for on a Tuesday afternoon.

3 UP

 

Sunday Suckdown- The MMFB is always fond of those who visit Panama. Whether it’s Dfern playing the pan flute with butthole or Rubz playing we are Siamese twins if we please with his cousin in law, the MMFB is huge supporter of all things Panama. So its only righteous the league rookie gets this week’s first billing following a weekend trip to South America with my favorite primo and second favorite papa pobresito (1- D$, 2- MDot). Peyton to Welker for the 1^st double up of the year and Jamaal Charles showing signs of life were enough to overcome a cmon mon esque performance from the defense and to make me forget how I upset I am with you for riding the fence like Kebron on the mechanical bull at Round Up in his Hey Day.

Graduated Bama- This kid is playing this year like if the prize money makes up ¾ of his annual income on his W2. Miami’s most accomplished hardwood floor salesman is taking no prisoners en route to the upper echelon of Machu for the 2^nd straight year. Luck stayed Lucky, Odell Hagens loves to put two on and Lamar Miller has shown that he can now run through a paper bag, but not quite ready for plastic. Keep eatin Andres, and be sure to keep us updated on your 305 adventures.

The Bank- All week long with this guy! Raul made it clear from his first chicken vaca frita of the week (read: last Monday) that he would do whatever it takes to bring Rubz down from the season opening Cloud 7 he was plopped on to the depths of HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. Legitimately thanks to a pair of 30 burgers from A Rodg and Demariyus, the scent of non double digit shit coming from the rest of his squad has been straight FEBREEZED. A tip of the hat to the man that finds himself sitting atop the standings, wondering who will make the first move at his throne.

3 DOWN

Don Pan, Beard Papa, Chiefs, El Sargento, Blooching…you name it, we’re hurting!

And so it goes. The cherry reds are making like Dfern post fine night of orange and blue prune juice at the Ole Key Lime House and taking the week off. 

Requisite CMON MON for the people, to see you off on a rainy Tuesday.

Take it away snagotags. Take it awa--- (clicks the wrong hyperlink, computer explodes)