MMFB WEEK 11

Vol 6. No. Go Fuck Yourself

Behold!

Governor Chief,  standing in front of the fiery ashes of his once proud franchise. That’s right, after a one week absence, I’m back in full disbelief of the smoldering brown paper bag filled with shit about to be stomped on by Ted that is the Chiefs. Talk about a 3 week shnide, after back to back weeks of losing by 1.5 points and a dismantling by Inero this week, who I’m 99.69 percent sure someone had to notify to pick up and start a defense at 12:40 pm on a Sunday, the Chief has finally gotten has near decade comeuppance. 

Alas, there are some positives to share. This week’s MMFB Social Experiment was a success. With the Chief going into his foxhole and not shouldering the burden of keeping this league alive on the message boards, I decided to see what life in Machucando would be life without the king of the jungle’s weekly roar. More Andres Alabama English? Sprinkles of hate from a Twin Peaks Smitty? NAY. My experiment showed a record high 9 of 11 people posted last week, a far cry from the regular excellence Machu once boasted, but still better than the every week memes from Dfern and Rubz that a blind 3^rd grader with diarrhea in his pants could manufacture. Hell, even Rene and Al dusted off the ole spooge master 9,900 desktop to type something aside from their daily, ‘Maple979’ on Naughty America’s Darla Crane granny porn bookmark. A strong 9 of 11 also confirmed the obvious of Tones and Davey still have their heads far up their asses.

ONTO THE GOODS

3 UP

El Lechon- (dusts off the Big Jav karaoke machine that has only Kings of Leon for his bashes with Yosh, and Stu) Yeaaaaaaaaaaaa, el Lechon is on fireeeeeeeee. (head bob, points at Pelayo in the back rocking out with some hunch punch and fig newtons). I may be down and out, but at least I have a rooting interest this year as Baby Bro is the lead dog in bringing the belt back to the hollanade. Kebron damn near doubled up the Bank as Antonio Brown, Rashad Jennings, Marshawn and Staff all tasted twenty and with only two weeks left he’s coming at all competition with a machine gun fury…wait that’s not a machine gun…

Sucka Free- (ducks tomato) 2^nd billing goes to Dfern, who came at this week with the fury of Rob Ford in front of a crack dusted pussy. El basurero RG3 picked up the garbage, Forte and CJ went 20 / 20 and Cin-cinatti D, powered by Reggie Nelson and Carlos Dunlap, put up touchdowns faster than Dfern could get out of Sun Life Stadium yesterday.  The only reason you didn’t get top billing is because you didn’t go to Broken Shaker BRO. How dare you not sit by a pool filled with green hobo and hippie piss and fight for a flavored drink at a bar the size of a chihuaha dick for Gisi’s birthday. Not cool brah. 

Blooching – Inero made like Duke eyeing a Mark Onofrio defense and straight pillaged and burned me to the ground. That’s all I got. #FullSteamAhead and let’s hope for one last Braxton Berrios filled honky herald before this season goes in the books.

3 Down

Tones- How is my team in the shitter and this BOOB continues starting Greg Jennings and Trent Richardson? My god. I am losing to a guy who sets his lineup by just mashing his computer like this on Sundays with no regards for lineup optimization. Also serves well as a picture of a young Andres when his moms wouldn't let him go on an odd timed, glassy eyed Taco Bell 4th meal run:

Oye People- Another Thanksgiving turkey popped out of the oven. Your run out of the league shitter has been a story book one my friend. If you had the huevos and foresight to trade one of your hosses to get ONE running back worth a damn, you could even be in good standing. But James Starks will continue with goose eggs and the once huggable Tolbear is now a victim to the “three headed di pinga monster.” © Doc Brooklyn.

KC Chiefs- I CAN HAZ TEE DEEZ. NO I CAN NOT. FUCK YOU LAZY HAMBURGLARS DISGRACING MY SQUAD.

CMON MON

Don’t worry be Happy MON!

Percy HarMON- Welcome back bicho. 1.5 stash. CMON MON!

AJ Green- A whaaaaaaaaa? 1 point. CMON MON!

Greg Jennings- GOOSE EGG! CMON MON!

CJ Spiller- Tremendo first round pick. 2 points. CMON MON!

New York- Concrete jungle that smells like fromunda cheese, there’s nothing you cant dooood. GOOSE EGG! CMON MON!

James Starks. GOOSE EGG.  Meeeeeeee anddddd andddd misses, misses Jones misses Jones. .5! PINGA!

Who I like Monday night, and I mean, did you know Flannigan’s Carolina BBQ sauce is actual Open Pit BBQ mixed with honey? Cool story bro.

Ah, perhaps my favorite Monday Morning Fullback segment. The Monday Night Chief picks. Haven’t been able to dust off the ole stinky picking finger in a while. Last year I was on fire. I couldn’t miss in my picks. This year, I haven’t been able to hit shit. It’s like 9^th grade chief walking around the Tombola dance with braces, yearround movember moustache and a chubb that looked like a raw tater tot in my jenco jeans. (slides under the hoard of dudes 1,000 deep trying to get a grind in with a mystery chonga like Indiana Jones)

Oh, I got mines….best believe Ima get mines before mom pulled up in the van at 11 pm for the scoop up. I was like a kung fu ninja coming out through grates in the dance floor like Andy Dufresne crawling through two football fields of sewage just to get a hi, how are ya for my dennys sausage link dong from  a braddock chonga….Sorry, where was I. Oh, that’s right, the Monday night chief picks, brought to you by Jynx Maze and Jinxy Cat. I have Gronk projected for a modest 50 points tonight, so I win this one in stride. Raul needs 72 points from Greg Olsen so this one is certainly bankable. Smitty wins. Jav needs the tolbear to do the tootsie roll 11 times, so cotton candy sweet and roll, let me see your Javi roll. And finally the matchup that lies in the balance. Davey has 35 points plus a cmon mon regular in Amondola, while Rubz has Scam, Steve Smiff, the riddler and a kicker. No brainer folks. Rubz in the WEEN column.

Till next week.

-KC CHIEFS