MMFB Week 4

Vol 6. No. 4

Howdayado? I'M GOING INNNN...Week FOUR and you know I want MOAR on another edition of the Monday Morning Fullback. It’s a strange thing isn’t it?  How the cool tides of change swoop in, breezing past your perked nipples. For the past 3 weeks, I’ve had to drag my ass Cecil Collins Ave on a losing note and done so with glee. And now, after putting an overdue one in the win column, I didn’t have the motivation to come through and polish off this bad boy today. Until I stopped and pondered to myself, “C’mon Chief, there are GM’s  in Machucando sitting their scratching their ass on a Monday waiting for you to deliver. Do it for the little people ... do it for Andres, who will suck a cat turd through a twisty straw for five bucks today….do it for Smitty, who is working out the creak in his neck after a vicious Vegas red eye flight back to this hell hole.”

 

3 UP

Kevin – Coniaso. The guy who has the tits to say he needs more points going into Monday night because Rene has Brees and his dead end double up gets top billing today for putting up a c-note plus change. Mojo is a game or two away from just suiting up Mr. Hankey the Christmas poo in his place and it still doesn’t matter. T-Gonz hit the 30 burger, which when coupled with Welkah and Don Francisco, was enough to push baby bro to the top.

Alejandro- Don’t call his name, don’t call his name, Peyton the cabezon. The story of Al’s team is one of overcoming the odds. The injuries…the bad start / sits calls…the reigning champ mismanagement…the falling ass backward into Peyton…none of it matters! No sir. Not when you have the WOODPECKER.  That’s right. That tiny white pecker (geez, who hasn’t that before) had  Scott Hansen screaming at the top of his lungs, and that was all I needed to see. AL WINS.

Ruben – Down week alert! Something has to give when Rubz sneaks his way into the Chief’s realm of backhanded praise. Savvy pick ups in Tennessee D and Coby Fleener have helped Rubz steady the S.S. MAFIOL CAGAZON at the quarter mark of the season, and J-Cuts did his J-Cuts thing of having 10 points at the 2 minute warning of the fourth only to sulk his way into the endzone. Extra credit for punishing Andres’ rolling paper squad. 

3 DOWN

Daniel & Davey Fernandez- What a stinka! The blind beat the blind in Machucando’s dog of the week matchup. The dog? This can only be a DROOPY, the official MMFB Mascot (and also a great symbol of sloppy banana tits).

We had enough Cmon Mon’s to staff the poolside bar in Punta Cana in this matchup. Let’s just move on and hope for more of the same from these two. Oh, and say what’s up to David Wilson for me!

Big Jav- Oye people! Jav slides into the last spot in the three down and last spot in the rankings as his two man team can only do so much heavy lifting. Paper thin in the running back department, this is one GM who I expect to see burning up the wire in an attempt to salvage the season. If not, he will be burning up the papa yon pizza on draft night 2014.

CMON MON, DAFT PUNK EDITION

 

Mojo- Two point five er. Sell high! CMON MON!

Ray Rice – Arroz con mango. 1 point! CMON MON!

Stevie Johnson- Oh, Stevie Wonder! .5 points! CMON MON!

Atlanta Defense- NEGATIVO. -1 delight. CMON MON!

Sidney Rice – One of those guys that I didn’t know who owned him, much less played him. 1.5 CMON MON!

Jets Defense- 32 points allowed, 2 sacks. I bet. 1 point. CMON MON!

Brandon Myers- GOOSE EGG! CMON MON!

Brandon Pierce- CASI GOOSE EGG! CMON MON!

D. Rich – aka we all rich! 1.5 CMON MON!

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Who I like on Monday night and I mean WHO DAT?

Ah, perhaps my favorite Monday Morning Fullback segment, the Monday Night Chief picks. WHO DAT? WE DAT. No games left in the balance tonight as Caleg Sturgizzzz will put this one away for D$, and while Brees will drop un embarrazon on the Fins, it won’t be to Colston who will be covered in penis cake. So the only prediction is this…..

 

Till next week!

-KC CHIEFS