MMFB Week 9

Vol. 5 No. 9

Better late than never eh? That’s the thing with the MMFB these days, you never know when it’s going to turn around and slap you in the teeth with a big ole floppy disk. Which leads me to my next point as I pen this special MMFB election edition, sometimes you have to just go with your GUT. Watch this video from the scholarly and sensible Terry Bradshaw and you take a guess which way he voted. 

Yup, you guessed it. Alas, I don’t want to stoke the coals too much. Cecil Collins has never been a man for politics. As a running back, he preferred much rather to be all up on your window sill while you sleep, giving you the stalker psycho chief peepers. Wait, wut? Sorry, its 10:30 pm on a Monday and I’m writing a column while watching this game. All I know is if KeBron walks through the door right now I’m hitting him with one of these hand of god style:

As far as your Chief weekend recap, me and mah boay Dfern hit up Food and Wine Fest in Epcot for a lil PINO. There was no yacking by either party, which breaks a pretty good streak we had of Dfern gon projectile in the fullback. As for the deets , I’ll keep it short and sweet:

ONTO THE GOODS

3 UP

DAVEY- Well I’ll be darned. Not only does this bearded boob survive Sandy like a stormy pro, but he also tops the 3 up for the second time in as many weeks with an absolute drubbing of a fellow basement dweller. This might be the most absolute ass backwards fantasy strategy I’ve ever witnessed. Tank the draft, submarine the season with early injuries…stockpile waiver  grabs, catch a turkey dougieing and next thing you know you’ve got a team that’s making me moar hot and bothered than a titty Tuesday. Congrats to the man who’s still on no sleep.

SMITTY- Keeping it in the north east, but this time, with a pampered jersey twist. The Bank’s team went off against a wounded Dfern in a huge game. All before I could effectively jinxy cat this Monday night showdown. Twin 30 bombers from B Marsh and AP did the heavy lifting while Peyton kept up his torrid pace. After some time in the dark, both fantasy and literally, the bank is starting to see the light like a pair of chili dogs pointed toward the in-law living room ceiling. Now if only he will just come out and call HOMIE out on facebook for his KRAUT PROPAGANDA.  Tick tock tick tock, nice dub.

AL- Have to throw a ticker tape parade for the Parrots for notching a huge win that will likely need to sustain his suddenly hobbled team heading into the homestretch. The mooching deucer / deucing moocher powered past phony with a pair of upper decker teeders and double dig from both receivers. Sealed with another Monday night W c/o Breezy. I see your Monday night magic Al. AND I RAISE IT.

3 DOWN

RENE- Today…ain’tcho day. This year…ain’tcho year. Don Panfilo keeps taking his hacks and going jama but it looks to be all for naught. The belt has officially rusted around the waist of the champ, due to the lethal combination of the Vegas pool party sun and a Machee fantasy season gone south. Let’s get back to Vegas before the next group pic we take ends up with us looking like this, led by Al on the far LEFT:

RUBEN- SEE ABOVE minus all the champ stuff, obviously.  When I get to the Obama celebration party tomorrow, don’t let me catch you dressed like this on the right:

TONES- Between being buoyed by the cruise and last week’s victory against Chief von Doo Doo, you were sitting pretty pretty eh? BACK DOWN YOU GO.  I’ll make you a deal, but don’t go writing me any letters like a certain DOCTOR. The top up in next week’s 3 up is a 3 man race between you, KeBron or Andres to provide the best weekend adventure recap.  Oh, and let me make this easier for everyone. Take it away Machucando mooch mob!

THE HEISENBERGS

 

LO COMISTE

(ombligo)

Jermichael Finley- NO MAS. .5 #LoComiste

McFadden- The only thing worse than a lingering hammy. The high ankle sprain. 2 points. #LoComiste

Percy Harvin- Down goes FRAZIA! 2 points. #LoComiste

Hakeem Nicks- GGGGGGGGGGGGMEN.  1.5 points. #LoComiste

Minnesota D- Droppable. 2 points. #LoComiste

Jordy Nelson- White boy wasted. GOOSE EGG. #LoComiste

Who I like on Monday Night, and I mean, we just hit the 2 minute warning!!!!!!!!!!

LETS.RIDE.

IN before Tuesday.

-THE CHIEF