MMFB Week 11

Vol. 5 No. 11

Rivalry Week. Two words ever so small, only mean the world. It’s the reason I receive pictures like this last night at 3 am from Dirty in Key West, and it’s a larger part of why Machucando exists….once upon a time.

The MMFB in all of its 5 year glory has existed for many reasons. Mainly as a bully pulpit for the alpha bully, but also to house the Machucando Hall of Fame, bring this league up another level while bringing you down another level and so on and so forth.  (snaps fingers, coughs, squeaks fart)

HEY. Over here, I’m on my soap box fellas. Thought I lost everyone as the crowd made its way over to the likes of Tones and Jav with trade offers for their desperate needs. You know they are scared to trade!

Like I was saying, rivalries combined with the Thanksgiving season. It’s for that reason that I’m going to restructure today’s bountiful cornucopia of POO with a different format. No 3 downs today for Andres once again promising bullshit recaps out of his ass and not delivering (oye bicho, ask Jav and Rubz how making promises and not delivering go over with this league.) No sir, no 3 down for an absolutely dog shit D$ squad rolling over for the Chief. (Going to guess you self imposed a competitive sanction…BOOM, still got it!) And NO, I said No, I said NO by any means will I call out Dinero, Jav and Rene for all amassing 3 strikes. (Beyond disappointing. That sour stench emanating from Machucando’s boards are YOU.) Instead, I will give thanks on this Machee sans-gee-bee fullback.

What I’m Thankful For

Health: Here’s to health. My body has never looked bubblier than it does today post Vegas and for that my rotund ass is THANKFUL. But truly, here’s to everyone’s continued good health. With the exception of Gronkowski and Smitty on his holiday sickness schedule. Those guys need some Vitamin C and some TUSSIN stat man I’m worried about yall. 

Florida Gators Football: Join me arm in arm in We Are the Boys fashion. I’m thankful not only for an absolutely fine tuned collegiate gridiron product, but also, for the athletic program as a whole. The Gators this year have entertained with an absolutely electric brand of football that has America by their juicy plums.  All I can say is thanks to those supporters, haters and inferior programs in the state that I hear of from time to time. The joy we derive wouldn’t be complete with your utter misfortunes. Speaking of which, lemme throw Rubz a bone here so he gets a CHUBBY.

 KC Chiefs: Both Romeo Crennel and the King Chief (who, what? They aren’t the same?). This week’s gift wrapped W was a historically momentous one for the Machu record books. It ensures a pristine playoff appearance record of 7 years in competition, as well as cementing 7 consecutive winning seasons. In a league of small timers, it’s only fair that I appreciate the smallest things. Remember fellas- 

And that’s pretty much it.

THE HEISENBERGS, presented by Jean Ralphio

SCHAUB

COOL AND DRE

3RG

A MOUSTACHIOD CHAD HENNE…..

Man, that is so worlds colliding. Feels like 2003 when I was hulk smashing so every nitty in sight.

LO COMISTE #OmbligoStatus

Fitzy Baby- Now at QB, Lindley! 1.5 #LoComiste

D’Angelo Williams- How does itttttttttttttttttttt feel. Again, how does it feeeeel. 1.5 #LoComiste

Pitta- It’s pitta again! .5 #LoComiste

Woodpecker- GOOSEGGIE #LoComiste

Maclin- Turtle Power! GOOSE EGG. #LoComiste

Denarius Moore- Whu? .5 #LoComiste

Rashad Jennings- Snicker. GOOSEGG #LoComiste

D-BO- Man this list is LONG. GOOSE EGG #LoComiste

Torrey Smith- And one for good luck. Make that .5 #LoComiste

Who I like on Monday night, and I mean jinxy cat jinxy cat…

Who I like on Monday night, and I mean, it all comes down to Monday except when you are fuckin cooked. Ah, perhaps my favorite MMFB segment. The Monday night chief picks. Only two games left in the balance tonight and boy are they doozies. (Read: SHIT). Don Pan with a 7 point lead but ole Bobby Hill should surpass that with his foot. Dfern for the dub. Finally, in the main event of the projection bowl, we have Baby Bro and The Bank squaring off in a high stakes affair for the team most likely to lose in the first round of the Machu playoffs. Smitty is down a 10 piece with B. Marsh to go. Uber-attainable, except it’s Monday night….with no Cutler….versus San Fran D….with jinxy cat looming. 

I’M GOING CORSO ON THIS ONE! AH, FACK IT.

SMITTY WINS. 

Now let me carve this Machucando turkey for you guys.

TILL NEXT WEEK WHEN NO ONE POSTS SHIT DESPITE BEING OFF 3 DAYS, CHILLIN AT HOME ON THE YAHOO MACHU PAGE ALL VACAY.

 

-          THE CHIEF