MMFB Week 7

(Pictured: The Chief this morning)

Holy Cowabunga Tits, here we are, another Monday mid morning and all of you are stewing respectively at your desks hating life. Minus Davey and Andres of course who are playing candyland and frolicking through fields of funions and bigguns. Seriously fuck you guys...you will NOT be invited to attend the Machucando Pizza Hut Draft Party I signed us up for.

So what else do we get other then me breaking the ice at Baru on Friday and getting a girls number. She's 24, works as a receptionist at a church, has 3 kids, and is in the process of getting her divorced papers signed. Brickell for the win! Anyways, it was a rowdy weekend in Miami...some of us in one way or form put in a day in Miami Gardens this weekend, be it UM-Gtech or FUCKFINS vs Gators, the tax was on. All I know is there is something in the (VITAMIN) water in that stadium that just leads to all sorts of shitting. HOW DARE YOU TOUCH DIRTY'S VITAMIN WATER DFERN? RUBZ KNOWS BETTER BY NOW! Without further or do, ONTO THE GOODS!!!

3 UP

Garrity Motors- Just when I thought this turd was swirling around the toilet bowl like a shitty canoe circling a whirlpool, he pulls off a MUCH needed W off of the defending champeen. Led by waiver wire wonder Demarco Murray (more on this later), Rubz surged to a W off the backs of Smitty's hurting skill guys. I think its about time you cop one of these...



El Beecho- AY Panfi! My sweet sweet Panfilo, que hambre tiene. Yes, your TE's are nuttier then squirrel turds, but Brees took down a fancy feast to slay D$'s 3 headed dragon at QB. While Jimmy Graham went off, I can proudly say that anytime you are starting TWO SEAHAWK WIDE RECEIVERS WHEN CHARLIE WHITEHURST IS QB, that you are more fucked for the week then the godfather's sunshine square deal.

T-Rich- Yesh! Andresh! You made it you little sack of dog crap! The third three up goes to the Tuscaloosa Twister himself who rose up from the bye week blues to give Dfern a swift kick to the jubilees. Well done!



3 DOWN (cracks knuckles)

October's Very Own- Pumpkin spiced turd, holy moly. Talk about rolling over on a bye week. Matt Moore, Lex Hiliard...might as well have Polo's cone around your head this AM. This team is screaming for a deal to be made, but with his recent declaration that he will not trade with anyone in the top 4-5 I can only make 1 suggestion. Everyone in Machucando pepper this man with MOAR trade requests!!!!!!!!

Parrot Heads- Woo Doggie...we have a team here that stinks like a rat piss. The following scene is how I would compare your team right now, with myself/your team as Ricky/Ron Swanson, Rubz as Bubbles, and you as the grease monkey in the black tee.

(btw I love this show and this clip)



Grapes and Cheese- But papa E, I took care of business! SHAT AP. I wake up at 8 30 am on Sunday, put my Zubaz on and am notified you back out of the first game to go shopping for a car!?! Sure, this was a classic case of Tones Senior at his finest lol, but you get some heat today for that and something else...as you may have figured out this year, this league is more competitive then your average 10 team sword fight. People are sharks in Machu, some great whites (ahem), some sand sucking nurses. For 3 straight weeks, your waiver wire heebery has made Al look like Hitler (I see you Hank Williams!). This week, you gift wrapped Demarco Murray to RUBZ. That move ain't winning you any fans in this league. WAKE UP DAMNT!

CMON MON, brought to you by white boy and the Marleys



LEX HILLIARD- GOOSE EGG! BELONGS ON THE WAIVER WIRE WITH MARSHALL! CMON MON!
NASTY NATE- 1.5! COCKTAIL! FRUIT!! CMON MON!
PERCY- 2 POINTS! MAH BOAY! CMON MON!
G-REG- .5! 7TH FLOOR POO! CMON MON!
TASHARD CHOICE- NEGATIVE TWO! CMON MON!
MCFADDEN- .5! MY FOOTSIE! CMON MON!
ERNEST! 1.5! E-SURANCE! CMON MON!

Who I like on Monday night, and I mean Ravens looking more alive then the Raven in Lou's living room:

Ah, perhaps my favorite MMFB segment, the Monday night chief picks. After week 6, I NAILED last weeks pics vaulting my record to 12-3. I LAUGH AT YOU JAWORSKI. Virtually every game is in the books, with Rubz coasting to a W. Tonight's meaty matchup features Davey up 12 with Mojo vs. Rene and Ray Arroz. You know what? I'm scared about this one. I ain't touchin it with a 12 foot pole, not even if Mamayth was waiting on the other end with a ham sammich. But I got to make a pick, and in a move that may eliminate him from the playoffs...I think Davey delivers the death blow with that mojonsito and drives Rene to this.



Dayum...my condolences (c) R. Kellz

Till next week!

- 7-0