MMFB Week w.e. man

Vol 3. No. 10

HO-LY FLYING FLOPPITY TITS. At least someone made a dvd trailer about my life, which btw, is in a hobo oil drum filled with POOP on fire right now. Thanks for wondering. This is going to be as bare bones a fullback as my brain could possibly shit out right now, so what better place to start than by breaking down Gentlemen's Weekend with quotes for added flare.

Friday- Arrive in the glorified Camillus House that is Dfern's apartment. Suit up for a night at the Grog. "Is it 80's night tonight, you look like a broke ass Thriller extra Rubz!"- Kebron Get to the grog. "No, we don't know anyone here"-Dfern. Me and Rubz toss that crash head dummy out of the way before sumo splashing into Goomah City. "I went to the bathroom, came back, and shit had popped off everywhere."- Kebron. Dominate Grog. Beak moistened. Go to wack after party. 5 star pizza.

Rating: 3 out 5 wet beaks

Saturday: Wake up malarded before heading to a mini tailgate, sponored by 4 loko's. Begin day by consuming said beverage of the gods. Run into our parade of hun's, play it cool. Arrive at main tailgate where Dfern begins to yack and BABA all over himself. Dfern scarying EVERYONE as he posts up against a tree eyes closed. "Who's going to carry this pussy to the game?"- Cousin, RE: DFERN. "You guys are so fuckin cool." - Gatica A,B,C,D. Go to the game. LOSE. Make room on that conference couch of losers D$. WE GOIN IN. Get back to the house, shower, put on my jeans. "Uhh, why are you putting on jeans?" -Dfern to the Chief. "Because....I'm going out MAN."- Chief to Dfern. After overruling that gargantuan turd, we get to the club our goomah's had arranged for us. "So how wack is this place?"- Kebron to black bouncer "Tonight, it's really wack."- Bouncer. Enter club to find ZERO goomah's and strictly dunder mifflin dunder head. Begin to hate life. Goomah's ENTER. Begin to celebrate life. Beak soaked. Rubz points pistol into girls back. "Lead us to your after party now!" Arrive at after party. SET THE TONE. "My name's theodore but you can call me teddy. They say every little girl sleeps with a teddy...why can't I be your bear"- Chief to Goomah. Kicked out by the cops. Walk home. 5 star pizza.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 wet beaks

Sunday: Who care's man? Didn't get to see my goomah so my day was horrible start to finish. "MY NICKERS!"- Richie. "I need those two raisin bran scoops of INSIDE SCOOP NOW RICH"- Chief. I know I'm missing more quotes. Feel free to add on boards.

Rating: 0 out of 5 wet beaks

Onto the goods!

3.5 up

Don Pan- Off the 2 game shnide with a convincing victory over the scrimps, Don Pan gets top billing today behind a combined 56 points from the midnight train known as the wall aka Roddy and Mojo. Surely, they are no Reggie/Ronnie (11 points combined), but alas, the Don finds himself battling for the division lead once again.

Danga Zone- Honestly, probably my biggest challenge at the title this year. Again. Big surprise. The top two here are the ones doing work, competing for glory. Really I'm shocked. Dumping Randy Moss/Tomas Jones for Fitz? Genius. Amazing what a little San Fran fish dip will do when the other party is completely fucking lost. Nicely done Smitts.

KC Chiefs- I've been barking, or as other pee wee players see it, whining and crying all year...and its just for weekends like this fellas. Where all the shit I've talked, all the work I've put in come to fruition. Extending my division lead is one thing, but knocking the lap dog that much closer to dead last place after all his transgressions against Machucando this year? Priceless. If anything you should gun for last (NAME REDACTED), at least you will be including in paying for the league's spread next draft. Cheers!

Regulators- As I said, I usually don't acknowledge shit in dead last place. Which is why the only time you usually see the fern bro's on the fullback is for their piddly praise of everything that I do. But Davey gets a little luv from the chief snapping a 5 game losing streak against...

3 down

BMF- Finds himself in here to further salt his Monday wounds for his violations of Machucando. The working copy streak continues, but can't knock him Boobie Tuesday too hard, as the battle's we've fought, the goomah's we've sought and the party's we've rocked have left us in STRAIGHT SHAMBLES. My grandchildren will ask me one day, "granpappy chief...did you ever run shit in the ville?" I will respond



Now go tend to your broke ass team son.

FTW- Another weekend lowlight from our most gracious host. Dfern was hitting on ALL cylinders this weekend as we ripped through 6 blee's in 36 hours (not exaggerating) and kept Kebron's stomach at bay. However, the waiver wire locks claimed its first victim as Dfern forgot to get a kicker. Will it cost him...TBD.



Blooching- Sadder fact? The fact the man had to wait till midnovember to toss a little heat on the gators, or that if he puts his squad in the mirror he sees the exact same thing plus blackface? I deem not making it to ATL a failure so for once, I can relate to where your coming from. Bloochin is also on the ropes needing some MNF magic, but lets move to the most important thing on the docket. A cousin of Yani's in Gville joining the Big Chief jock parade. We've already made plans to macarena at the wedding, and I for one, am amped. Show me where the broom closet is, I may need to toss my little lady in there for a few numbers.

THE DAVEY THREE'S COMPANY TOO TITLE



You know the left to right, and you know this section is for those that balled out.

You know they call him T-Brade or the big digg bandit
Double Dwayne Bowe
Big Benny
Fred Sorry Mrs.
Mike...WALLACE

CMON MON! (hit it al!...for my goomah)



KC DEFENSE! HOT AND SWEET BBQ! NEGATIVE FOUR! CMON MON!
SEABISCUIT HE AINT! WHAT A TRADE PIECE! 1.5! CMON MON!
WITTEN! WITNESS! .5! CMON MON!
AH YES! CHINO MIERDA! MY HEAD HURT CHINO! GOOSEGG! CMON MON!

Who I like on Monday night, and I mean it's Mr. Steal-Yo-Girl:

Ah, perhaps my favorite MMFB segment, the Monday Night Chief picks. Few games in the balance here. Much like the boards, Lou checks in for the first time on the fullback with better late than never status needing 14 from terrible torain. I believe the god's don't let goofs slide for not starting kickers. Lou tops LOST. Finally, D-money needs 50 points total from McBenched, J-Mac, and Santana AYE. I don't see Jav's horrible nightmare of a season coming to end anytime soon. Cue the fire extinguishers, Dinero is coming out of the tunnel blazing. Literally.



Till next week!

-THE CHIEF
"Know your role. Chief that Bowl. Do your job."