MMFB Week 9

Vol. 3 No. 9

Another Monday, and oh yes siree, when you think this day couldn't get any worse, Another Fullback. You'd think after 3 years of penning this weekly column it would get a little old no? I mean how many poop and schlong jokes can one man possibly have in his hopper? The answer is infinite (see above), but what really fuels this back to the future tricked out chiefed out locomotive is you guys. I mean, what have you me do when this little diddy gets dropped on the boards:

"your team is gonna lay tremendo turd this weekend.. quote me on that next mmfb.. please do"

CAN DO. Oh Javi. My sweet gentle Javi. What a year to forget it's been for you in Machucando. As you sit in the doldrums of 3-6, a career low, I have my own little theory to explain for your fall from grace, and sadly, that DIP SHIT trade of yours was just a small part of it. It's well known I give 200 percent to this league and my team. It shows. My team is on its annual warpath, my commish hand is strong, the people are happy and yet they hate me. Another great year. But for you old pal, you are knocking on about 56 percent participation. Check in on thursdays, put in a crusty claim or two for guys that were dropped when the real waiver wire opened, and throw us some tits. Whatever works for you, but I know the real Jav. The Jav of yesteryear...and somewhere out there, he is waiting to make a comeback that would only bring a smile to Arnold himself. Just know this was me after Foster opened his weekly can of whoop ass on your squad.


In miscellaneous news:

-Until further notice, the teams who own the Dolphins sack lunch now and moving forward are Shittsburgh, Baltimore and Houston.
-Barely made it through this weekend, but I survived no thanks to D-Money and his rag tag squad of goons conquering Louis on Saturday.
-T-minus 4 days till Gentlemen's Weekend in Gainesville, Florida. Nothing to see here folks, just looking to punch our ticket to our conference championship game. You know how it is. (You = UF Fans)Forecast calls for a 100 percent chance of getting beak wet, 85 chance of partly Dfern being a boob.


Douche Pug only obey's Channing

Onto the goods!

2 up

FTW- Jesus! Talk about a run to the border, what looked like another bleak Sunday for the starved fox, popped off on the latter half of the day. Following a turded Sunday Lincoln Road brunch, which was lovely (c) Frank Ricard, Old School, d-fluke as he's known dropped the biggest upset of the weekend since Miami getting more than 5,000 people at the Maryland game. Thanks to a 62 point effort on Sunday night, including 28 from Green Bay (I'd rather have Seattle...smh) the man showed that retribution for a spilled Jacksonville drink via Smitty is spelled D-T-U-R-D.

Poon Hounds- A big time W for the league's resident friendly ghost, have to tip my YAMACA to Lou for allowing me to finally slide into that Number 1 seed spot I've had my eyes on for 8 weeks now. A-Rodg is probably the person you LEAST want to face in fantasy, and he delivered as such. But at the same time I have to tip my hat to Don Pan...his bakery is cooling down on a 2 game schnide ever since keeping it real went wrong on the trade circuit. But the man has some cojones the size of baloncestos. GM Move of the Week for picking up and starting Seyi Ajiro Desmond tutu and watching him go off. You see Jav. A little dedication is the difference between success...and J-Stew.

2 down

BMF- Kudos on an amicable trade paying off for both of us. Almost put you on the 3 up, then I remembered you haven't dropped the on deck working copy power rankings due out 4 weeks ago. I will keep this going all year...you are already to the Ruxin to my Kevin.



Bloochin- Not so much a case of the bye week blues as a team starting hot and cooling off. Should ring a bell for you very close to home. Please, feel free to grace the boards with your presence any time. We are a bustling community of participation and would love to hear from you more often SO HELP ME GOD.

THE DAVEY THREE'S COMPANY TOO TITLE



(left to right: Davey, Total Rubz)

This section is for those that much like Machucando's own Papa Smurf, balled out and let their Smurf Berry's swing harder than Mintberry Crunch!

Foster's, Australian for Eat Shit Jav.
The Real Peyton: Hillis
Packers DST > Seattle DST
Maybe AP, Maybe AD
Vick, stuck in a wasteland

CMON MON! (crank that al!)



J-POO! CURSED! ONE POINT! CMON MON!
STEVE SMIFF! NORTH BEATS SOUTH! .5! CMON MON!
MICHAEL BUSH! TWO IN HAND, WORTH 1 POINT IN THE BUSH! CMON MON!
CELEK BUDDY! GOOSE EGG! CMON MON!
SPROLES! SO CORNY! .5! CMON MON!
BEANIE! FRIJOLES! GOOSE EGG! CMON MON!
LAWFIRM! 1 POINT! THE EQUIVALENT OF MORENO, PEREZ, ENRIQUEZ AT LAW! CMON MON!
and finally...
SEATTLE DST! MAKE.IT.RAIN! NEGATIVE TWO POINTS! CMON MON!

Who I like on Monday night, and I mean beware those Bengal Tigers:



Ah, perhaps my favorite MMFB segment, the Monday Night Chief picks. As Kebron stated, "Another Monday Night...Another shit show." Couldn't hold truer when your trotting our Carson and he needs 12 points to give you a W. Even against the Steel Curtain, I think he gets it. Barely. The other game in the balance pits our own cocktail Scrimp or as hes known to the downtown food scene....HOT PLATE. I'm convinced Al was a Food Critic in another lifetime, the only meal I've ever seen him praise is the chief's beer dogs (suck it rubz!). But put him downtown with a menu in his hands, and the man's palate spares no one. Hot Plate is down 10 against (NAME REDACTED) and has ah yes chino hines, to go with the punch buggy Benson vs. Mike WA-LLACE. I think it's clear who wins here, and its not the West Coast Toad. Al's 5 star dinner tonight, combined with the reliable chino, will have him like this come midnight.



Till next week!

-THE CHIEF
"Know your role. Chief that Bowl. Do your job."