MMFB Week 4

Vol. 3 No. 4

Tits another beautiful day in Mr. Chiefs neighborhood. Here I am, with my corn cob pipe, accompanied by Little Chief with his mini corn cob pipe, just reading a morning copy of the MACHUCANDO TIMES before taking off to Joe Robbie for tonight's Monday Night Festivities. If it wasn't for Nick Saban pounding Urban and the Gators, I'd be walking on sunshine but alas, Bloochin's Blooched out words proved true as Checkdown Charles got rocked. Jacoris showed how the Disney movie with the hundreds of hot air balloons was still based on his life story, but it don't mean shit when you come out with a W.

And at the end of the day my friends, isn't that whats its all about? Doing the research, making the moves and pulling the trigger to win the Machubowl. We can all hate and laugh with our little farty columns all day but in the end there's a reason why Smitty still talks the talks in this league and that's because of the belt around his waist. Some got it, others don't...and for that those that don't, prepare to be HERMINATED from this league.



(:35 seconds for the original king chief coach fun)

Onto the goods!

4 Up (when 3 just won't do)

REGULATORS- The resident interior designer gets top billing this morning for many reasons. His team treated the Scrimps like the bucket of roadside camarones they really are, and his valiant unsolicited veto sent shockwaves through what was once a defeated Sagrada Familia that now finds itself tighter then ever with a new clueless member. Bradshaw put in work for a team that desperately needed it enroute to a W but good lawd kid, when we broke off our trade talks so you could "explore other options" I didn't think it was going to be Davone Bess and Jacoby 1.5 Jones. Repeat after me, I will put down Modern Living Magazine and I will stop going to Dfern for advice. Overall, good weekend Warren D.

Oye Preciosa- Oye cosa linda! A 75 point lead is looking like a big win for Kebrowned and much needed before looking down the barrel of 0-3. They say one man's trash is another man's treasure and that showed true with the footlong deepthroater Carson showing some spot start love. The LT renaissance is also alive and well. To think you almost dealt him for Jay Cuts! Good thing Lou put on his trade cap (read: dunce) and denied that one. Plus, who doesn't like it when New York Jewben gets creamed! Guy is in Manhattan so much that he needed people to make lineup moves for him as his horse and carriage ride almost made him lose his toasty jew bagel. My advice for Rubz: Throw in the towel and hand the reigns to your little heeb son Max:



Don Pan- EASILY my biggest up this week as he extinguished the malnourished turd/laughing stock of this league. Couple that with a trade rape that is going to have oh so confident in his trades Javier wishing Ernie and de boys could give him a bear hug when Ronnie gets 11 carries for 60 yards tonight, and you have a MMFB UP. The final final note on the burglary of the century: twas nothing personal bra. You've pulled 2 nice trades before this one where I didn't say a peep. But you bust a rape like this one and I had to do my part. Rivalry Week is already on the horizon and the Machu Game of the Week has upped the ante with winner getting a free night at the Joo. "That's alot of QUICHE"- The undefeated baker

the DANGA zone- "He he runs the supermarket and you you just a bagboy" The resident San Francisco treat has surely been staying away from numba two and the 49ers as his team absofruitly destroyed a blooching team that much like Jacory's passes, is slowly coming floating down to earth. Have to give props to McFades for the first time though that hammy is encendido, Kells filling in nicely at TE and checkdown McCoy getting his in. Even Brandon Lloyd? This guy is moochin off the Orton Allstar Express for every drop! Also, a crusader in his own right for veto'ing. Good Goin Guille.

3 Down

Gernades- Just for old times sake, die. Drunk/Chiefed trade cold offers at 5 am are not acceptable in this league. Theres a reason Rene woke up, bust a piss and clicked accept you ass sucker. Chokie and his chronicles would chomp your nuts off right now.

Slippery Scrimp- Eli Manning should not be started unless he is playing La Salle. Conio, AND 2 bengals. Don't call his name, Don't call his name....MAL-EJANDRO!

Yodel- Ahhh Yodel. The turd that just won't flush that is going to be flushed thanks to yours truly, zEEk the plumber. I've said all I've need to say on and off the record as you sit at 0-4 by nothing more than your own doing. But that just ain't enough. I figured you need a new nickname in this league...so the first place I thought of was a puppet, because there's a hand up your ass making your decisions. My first thought was Kermit, but Rubz is already our resident toad. Then it hit me...TRIUMPH THE INSULT COMIC DOG.

Triumph is funny, because the irony you see. Insult Comic Dog hits on every corner as your columns are exactly that. Plus the pooch finish as Yodel would never want to see his name disrespected like that...and he was born in a Vegas Hudson news damnt! So you keep doing you Triumph, because I am sitting here waiting and watching...FOR ME TO POOP ON.





(pictured left to right: Triumph, The Chief)

THE DAVEY THREE'S COMPANY TOO TITLE



While I love Davey's nuthuggers in this pic, Rubz should have listened to his fashionable advice in not wearing white pants after labor day! Unless your tone portela of course. Again, this section is for those that balled out on Sunday, because much like that Davey's homemade Nutella Spread at tonight's watch party, it lacks a hint of nuts.

Arian Foster- (bbm hug)
T.O.- We in room two-twenty-two
Antonio Gates- Ravaging. Just Ravaging.
San Diego D- Commish one away from a clean sweep!
LT- The turd in the punchbowl strikes back.

C'MON MON! (hit it AL!, dedicated to Rubz)



Beanie Wells- 1.5. Stock falling like my patalones! CMON MON!
John Carlson- 1.5. His name was Johnathan Carlson (c) Fight Club. CMON MON!
John Kuhn- I start with confidence. 3 points! CMON MON!
Santana- GOOSE EGG! AYE! CMON MON!
Indy D- NEGATIVO! CMON MON!
Legedu- AGAIN! .5. CMON MON!
Mike Sims Walker- AGAIN! GOOSE EGG! FANTASY WISDOMFUL JAV! CMON MON!

Who I like on Monday night, and I mean ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL!:

Ah, perhaps my favorite MMFB segment, the Monday Night Chief picks. Two games up for grabs tonight and we start with Rubz down 75 but with plenty of outs. Not sure what time his private cesna touches down today, but he will be watching and praying. You figure points for B-Marsh and Hennay, so this one is down to Welker. Do you believe!? Na, I don't. Lechon all night. Finally, the resident wolfie is STARVING and needs Brady to go to work. Not sure why so happy about getting Baby Hands Ricky and his 9 carries a game, if you win, it's on the back of Tim Brady. But you don't. Gernades blowing up like Pelayos MCL.



THE CHIEF WILL BE UNDER THE LIGHTS FOLKS...BUT NEVER UNDER DE GUN

Till Next Week!

-THE CHIEF
"Know your role. Chief that Bowl. Do your job."