The Chief and Frankie Frank @ work
The King makes an appearance
Salute! Photo c/o my boy Sir BAKES
Vol. 3 No. 3
Lol At least there was that right? I haven't been this donkey turded on a Monday since the day I woke up on a couch flanked by a Storched out Oliver Stensby and heartbroken Mr. Cheeks. Following a Friday night dance off that saw me bust out my fart dance, the eat up the hate dance and the infamous in Vegas pasta crank, I had to bust a new dance move while couch surfing with Doctor PooLittle. The Sunny Chief Karate Chop
For real thought that night was a shit show. Well done. Then comes the Surrender the Booty tailgate which made the Orange Carpet look like a D-list lineup. I'm talking the Boss doing Big Boss Man thangs, Al literally almost poo'ing himself and screaming at everyone DOES ANYONE HAVE NAPKINS HERE. I'M GOING TO SHIT EVERYWHERE!!!!!, Sir Bakes, a small army of orange clad Kebron goons who celebrate every move I make. Hell we even had the high pitch twins in Julio LeguanOA! and the water buffalo himself, Eddie Sanchez. So yea, pretty much everyone was there. Except Rubz of course. What else...oh, I slammed a car door shut on my fingers and almost passed out like a drunk chiefed buffoon. Needless to say...
Onto the goods!
3 up
KC Chiefs- Simply put: STATEMENT GAME. Not even gonna bag on the bank here cause his team did work, he predicted me to win and voted for me to win...helluva reverse jinx there lol. But what happened over the course of yesterday was pretty frightening. Now you guys know when I see a clueless tit like Chavoustie going to Don Pan for fantasy advice (worked out great thus far doc!) and the same Doc calling me a heeb for not trading him Dez Bryant, I just chuckle. Wholeheartedly. Like Farley eating 30 sack lunches. This week, redemption is spelled C-H-I-E-F-S. Mozel Tov bitches.
Don Pan- 3 weeks in and the cream is rising to the top folks. He didn't even need a Peyton double up to dispose of Javi the friendly ghost. The baker, as well as MANY others, have been voicing their displeasure behind the scenes in regards to a few Machucando GM's and their lack of participation, fire and accessibility. What do I say to that? CON RAZON CONSORTE. This league expects the best, and it's the only reason Blooching didn't make 3 up this week...robbing us of a Honkie Herald. You son of a bitch. Big ups to Don Pan...I'll see you and Marshawn Lynch in week 5 daggie!
BMF- Sigh. Really didn't want to put this boob here with how allergic he and the one just a spot higher have become to tailgating, but alas, he doubled his PIDDLY week 2 scoring output with a back-on-track sugg it dfern attack. Yes, you ain't totally in the clear but greg jennings sucks man (c) de chief. B-marsh finally got in the endzone and T-gonz woke up thus further stinging al's nostrils. It's quite pungent. The defense almost killed you bro! Your team is nowhere near good, but it certainly ain't as bad as some of the turkeys I've seen trotting around the machu yard. Good work overall brothe.
3 down
Slipper Scrimps AND Oye Preciosa- A little something in chiefs land known as the texas two-fer. Good lord where do I begin. Al at lunch friday where Rubz tried to hook up with all of us over ceviche while emptying our bank accounts... "Eli throws too many picks man." So Flacco plays Cleveland...and u roll with Eli! Then the trio you bend over for ruben for Ocho, Addai and Owen combine for 1 more point then Dan Carpenter. Damn...my condolences (c) Kells. Preciosa may still pull it off tonight, but the streaky boom or bust of Calvin and Colstie has eaten away at his soul and Lou's bitch trade move with Cutler put the onus on the fact that Favre just ain't getting it done this year. He's like Percy, but older and not as shitty.
Yodel's Revenge- Almost went Regulators here but Davey has enough on his plate making sure his homemade hummus doesn't curdle. Keep up the spectacular work doc.
THE DAVEY THREE'S COMPANY TOO TITLE
Again, this section is for those that balled out on Sunday, because much like that picture above, it's always gets a little uncomfortable in the nugget pouch when Rubz comes to town.
Q Boldin- Finally woke up.
Maybe AP, Maybe AD
Austin Collie- This year's seabiscuit is here, white, targeted and more fundamentally strong than ever. I couldn't trade him for a bag of peanuts preseason.
Mendellbaum- Geezer he ain't. Another on the wake up.
Roy Williams- Dfern's boay?!?
C'MON MON! (hit it AL!)
Shiancoe- Half point. "Is Shiancoe playing today? Why is there zero next to him?"- Doctor watchin redzone at the hollanade. Welcome to fantasy. CMON MON!
San Fran D- One point. The San Francisco treat! CMON MON!
Miles Austin- Tree points. Welcome to the Dez Show! CMON MON!
Steve Smiff- Tree and a half points. Clausen ain't the icemon! CMON MON!
Who I like on Monday night, and I mean it's a battle of the stinkas:
Ah, perhaps my favorite MMFB segment, the Monday Night Chief picks. Not much going except for the battle of the never was'. As much as I'd like to see Jennings drop 2 TD's on Rubz mug, we all know the Packers suck dong. Rubz wins by a landslide. (Now thats how you reverse jinx. Wink!) And Preciosa needs 19 from Viejo Driver and Crosby...call me crazy, but I think he gets it. Lazaron by the length of a lechon.
Till next week.
-THE CHIEF
"Know your role. Chief that Bowl. Do your job."
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