MMFB Week Ocho

Vol. 1 No. 11

Well, ain't nothing like being back in the comfy confines of my own personal hell, surrounded by people I got to fake talk too while sugarcoating the horrors I partook in this weekend at yet another rowdy and victorious Florida/Georgia weekend in Jacksonville. As I sit here cashing ESPN's Brett Farve Center, in my usual Monday Mega Cashed state, it ain't half as bad when one is victorious across the board.

Weekend pro's: Gators win, fueled by the Honky Power of Riley Cooper (looking forward to D$ further snubbing here tomorrow), and a beastly defense that is 5 games away from the Rose Bowl, a Dolphins victory that I missed, but finds us all snacking on a Ginn cockmeat and pastrami sandwich (at least for this week Theodore), a likely fantasy W over Smithereens, and the kick ass debut of E. Redfoo and Fern-Skyblu as LMFAO in Jax.

Weekend Cons: Me almost murdering 30 ladies on multiple occasions, me almost murdering 30 douches on multiple occasions, a level 9 defcon 5 Louisana Swamp Ass on Gameday that could have fueled the next NASA rocket launch, Dirty-in-the-big-city without his white mistress, the Jets acting like the true fucking bitches they are, Kebron getting Gored by TORO (who is that guy damnt!) and having to decide who was the more hideous Halloween female between mah boay Ruben and mah boay mah boay Channing.

VS.

He didn't go full tard all night with that wig, THANK LORD, but overall, it was a perfectly GHOULISH NIGHT.

ONTO THE GOODS GOONS! Time to Brandon Spikes eye gouge the SHIT out of this column.

3 up

Hater Blockers- The resident Hooters gal survived a generally turdy fantasy day behind the power of the always reliable Reggie Hey Wayne, and the back breaking "what the fuck is wrong with Jacksonville" force of CJ. CJ hadn't gone off like this in awhile, but when he does, it usually spells DoomsDay for opponents. Big ups to the human roadie, who i failed to acknowledge was even atop the named after him Merenguito divsion until yesterday. However, the one-time chiefing champion cochino refuses to let up in that race for a prime playoff spot.

D3 Mighty Duckets- Dinero is spending his weekends these days prepping for his own Wedding that is flying at him faster then the asteroid in armageddon by.....going to weddings and missing Saturday football? The guy has mastered salsa rueda, ballroom waltzing, the mango tango and more while mastering the bridal circuit, but more importantly, his shit team continues to pile up W's on you turkeys to the point that he could clinch a playoff spot soon. However, with a battle against the Chief on the horizon, expect this one to playout like September 6, 2008.

KC Chiefs- Was going to put Andres here, but then he lost all credit when he asked my brother to swordight with him? And I can't put the Derka here either for doing what everyone else in this league does and taking a long skinny frosted sugar churro turd on Lou's dome. However, I will give myself a surprisingly early pat on the back for seemingly avenging Smitt's eliminating me from the playoffs last year (unlike half the goons in this league, I never forget the past) and double crossing me when it came to my juggsy mistress. Double digits across the board sans defense for the KC Squealing Cochinos, who are an inveitable Colston TD away from calling a minirun.

3 down

Sucka Free- Thanks to the The League, one of the best new shows out there, I can say Dfern could use a sitdown with the Oracle. Click HERE for more.

The SalchiPaps- The downfall of Ronnie getting bottled up, paired with perhaps the most putrid pair of receivers in Machucando, nipped him in the bud in what was looking like a solid fantasy day. Peyton continued to shred the D, but didn't put a Teeder up, while Ryan Grant continues to cut Green Bay cheddar cheese farts in Kebrizzle's face. I haven't seen someone get more upstaged since Cartman's Poker Face got 1 upped by...



Wanny Mcstashes- He may still pull off the most feable of bye week victories somehow, but for the most part his team shit the bed. Pair this with the fat ass TORTA he dropped on the Machucando boards on Friday and el Generalisimo had to slot a spot on the 3 down for this chump. I haven't seen a league that disgruntled in awhile, so when Jav breaks his silence, I hope to hear his acknowledgement and apology for that half ass matchup.

This week's Chayanne-Smith Sensations is brought to you as always, by Chayanne, who if someone at work ever searches my internet history, will see i scroll through about way too many pictures of this latin heartthrob on Monday mornings!

-CJ
-McNiggie
-CHI-TOWN D
-Tony No Romo
-Don Francisco Gore
-Aaron Gimpy Rodgers

Making its return for this season, is the annual Nahman Trophy, for the starter who left you saying nah-nah-nah-NAH man after this week. For week 8 it goes to:
In spirit, it goes to Stevie "FAT GOOSE EGG" Slaton, but I just can't help to give it to Lou's only trade of the year acquisition, Willis McGahee. I haven't seen someone burn a bigger whole in a starting line up since he drafted Marvin Harrison. (sigh)

Who I like on Monday night, and I mean ATL's tiny corners are in deep shiat:

Ah, perhaps my favorite MMFB segment, the Monday Night Chief picks. A few games left in the balance so I'll start with mine. We all know Brees is going to get his usual 30, but I will certainly acknowledge Colstie gets his usual 29. Chiefs get their roll on like Daunte at a craps table on skates. Belvee needs a little too much from his big dogs it seems like on paper, and faces an end of year schedule where he will need 4 of 5 games to avoid missing the playoffs for the first time in his career. Luckily, 2 of those 5 are Dfern and Lou. Haterblockers should seal it up. Finally, Wanny's diarrea has me so confused I'm protesting math on this one like LD. Davey Mays has 1 more out with Lance Moore out there, while Jav is trotting out Devrey Henderson, T-Gonz, John Carney, and NOLA D....I think Davey is going to end up like Kyoko the Black Swan on this one.

Till next week!

-THE CHIEF
"Know your role. Chief that bowl. Do your job."