Well. Fat floppy tits on a fucking stick. I know where I'll be having lunch today and that's at I.F.H. Monday's, a far cry from T.M.O. Thursday's. After another traveling weekend spent in Tallahassee, I'm in a total daze today to the point I literally almost typed in bangbus.com on my website address bar. I don't even FEEL like watching TV on the hinges of a fantasy loss in an oh-so-winnable game, and another Dolphin shit sandwich with a side of fuck this wide receiving corps cole slaw. It's official, the Fins are "almost shitty." At least the Gators are on track to win another title right?! Horse balls.
Someone get me to my hump day no-work island vacation (big ups to all my veterans out there, so just me) So to wrap up the weekend that I know of, E- went to Tally, which is essentially Gville on Roids and PMS. Was parked on a blee with dfern and some tally cats outside of an apartment, when a level 9 chick fight broke out that made Jerry Springer brawls look like a quaint picnic. Also dfern had cake thrown at him by one of the girls in the tornado, which was awesome. Um, Kebron hooked up with a chick out of rehab. Score another one for the Waka Warrior. Rubz went to Gville, partied with his main squeeze aka the key rats, or as Rubz said himself, "it was male euphoria except...in my pants." And thats pretty much it, I'm sure all you harley riding faggots didn't do anything cool, except for Andres who always has a 1 in 5 chance of ending up with a live chicken shoved up his ass while face down in a port o potty or being called a bean breath nigger. You guys are all fucking boring blobs of lard MAN. Don't give me that look.
Onto the goods!
3 up
God Damn Derkas- From High Fivin Mr. Belveee on Saturday, to spanking his ace on Sundee, this dune coon dropped a huge gallon of mustard curry over the resident NFL Redzone Master/terrified of flag football with Twease turd snacker. Al got to experience the flip side of the viejo Warner spectrum as the geezer went from 5 picks last week to 5 TD'ers this week, the rest was just mustard curry on the cake. More importantly, Belveee is on the ROPES. This matchup was essentially a casket match, with Al playing the Punjab undertaker and Belveee serving as HBK.
(:25 Belveee trying to crawl into playoff picture, 1:55 sagrada familia rushing to the rescue)
Sweet Home- Well, well, well, have to give some props to picante pants for giving Davey a Machucando swirley and keeping him further down in the Machucando dungeon. D'Angelo Willz finally woke up, Seattle D was a nice plug n play and A-Rodg connected with Driver effectively sealing Davey's fate. Even better, we get to hear what legendary tails our hispanic hero spun together in Tuscaloosa this weekend with big bro. I'm guessing Eddie was back stroking like a chiefed Mike Phelps through an olympic size swimming pool of blonde bama tang, while Andres stayed in the shallow end with floaties snortin like Squints Paladoris. Feel free to regale the boards mah boay.
The Salchipaps- Almost left it at 2 up, because I didn't feel like praising anyone else, but even against the Peach Phillie version of this ratted out bye week suffering Cohiba, it was a big time win for this basket of fries and chopped up colombian doggers who was suffering below .500. Don Francisco went off, Ronnie Brown got his with a south paw AFLAC, and that was enough. Here's your reward:
1 down (Lou lost, Dfern lost, Rene lost...I'll spare them my verbal diarrea napalm )KC Cochinos- My steaming team went the way of Wilbur as my sucking at the mother sow teet finally came up dry. I thought I could break the hex Dinero's turdy squad has on Machucando, but my gunners and skill positions pretty much turded the bed with Colston going quiet for the first time this year, Megatron having more rust on him then a junkyard jetta and LT playing like a god damn geriatric FUCK.
This week's Chayanne-Smith Sensations is brought to you as always, by Chayanne, who reminds you not to grip while you sip. Until he can get his claws into Smitts!
- J. Cutty Buddy-Burner Turner
- Go CJ, cause thats my CJ
-Larry Fitz
-G-Reg Olsen
Making its return for this season, is the Nahman Trophy, for the starter who left you saying nah-nah-nah-NAH man after this week. For week 9 it goes to: Clint-P 0.0. A goose egg after he almost had his dome popped off.
Who I like on Monday night, and I mean I'd rather play with my grapes:
Ah, perhaps my favorite MMFB segment, the Monday Night Chief picks. For the first time this season, it looks like all games are settled. Jav will certainly thrash Lou, and I don't see Prater nailing 15 points worth of god damn field goals. Rest easy tonight Machucando, for the storm that cometh with only 4 games left in the regular season, and the trade deadline fast approaching, promises to only be wilder.
-THE CHIEF
"Know your role. Chief that bowl. Do your job."
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