MMFB Week 7

Vol 1. No. 10

Ah, another Monday morning and all you have to look forward to is this column. Fuck me in the GOAT ASS. It's a rough one today after the Fins shit the bed harder Randy Shannon in Overtime, so I'm going to do everything I can to crack a snicker out of you guys short of posting more pics of Andres with dudes on his lap with their legs intertwined. For the 100th time this season, FUCK TED GINN. I got home and felt like pouring myself another glass of syzzurp after that one, which as Rubz can attest to, had me leanin like a Snorlax post Gator victory on Saturday night. The video above should get you doing the eslow mochan in your office/crib/dorm because another successful tailgate was highlighted by our first Miami celebrity appearance in CPITA aka the eslow mochan king, who even dropped a few dance moves at our tailgate. It made me realize that the MMFB has not given enough love to where its heart with always be, Hialeah. Which is why this morning I'm proud to introduce you all to the the OFFICIAL MMFB Mascot, mi consorte de el norte, LAZARO EL LECHON!



Onto the Goods!

3 Up

Sweet Home Honkybama- The resident league houndstooth colored dingleberry gets the nod today after making like his yahoo avatar and chugging Al's chilled heiny preemz. Both his RB's produced, and Aaron Rodgers decided to finally not suck a wang, albeit against Cleveland. More importantly, we can now save ourselves the laughter of Andres bragging about Bama being the No.1 team in the nation. That's almost as pathetic as having bro's like Albert Reguero bragging about being number 8 in the nation on Friday night and driving the justice police referree train. What I and the board wants to hear from Andres is what happend on Saturday night in Tuscaloosa, as from the looks of his facebook he made a total ass of himself. Again.

Hater Blockers- Not even Owen fuggin Daniels could rescue Davey this week from Rubz' squad jacking up the heat. Double digits points across the board except from fat turd T.O. will keep Rubz riding as high as a man with a raging cougar libido surrounded by heebs all week can ride. That is...till JAX of course. Pour it up!



The SalchiPapas- Ryan Grant, SO NICE TO SEE YOU. There's one turd at least who finally woke up out of his coma and Salchi followed up last week's disaster with a big time win that saved his team from falling deeper into the toilet than Lou doing the 22 minute halftime monster mash at some chick's halloween party on Saturday night. Shittsburgh Defense cancelled out the Pats, and Peyton cancelled out Felipe enough to let the skill positions take flight.

3 down

Mr. Belvee- Ah, nothing saucier then over-react-Sunday-night "Fire Sale" post. We've all been there, but this bottle of Belvee is shaping up to be more like a bottle of Skol Rad Russian Vodka. What looks like a decent team in Madden 2010 just isn't cutting the kielbasa this season, particularly plagued with some below average running backs and you know a team is in the shitter when they are starting to Oakland Raiders. Sure there was some bye issues, but one or two more performances like this and the man might just have to take that stroll down Mojon Blvd looking like this fly hunnie...



(laugh at this or not, either way I'm going to hell for that one)

Wanny McStashes- Welcome to the 3 men and a merenguito division GLUT mah boay! Without Mojo, this team was clearly missing it's main cannon. But that didn't stop Jav from bringing a broad to yesterday's tailgate and showing her how its done in Dirty Town, USA. Jav hit his signature funnels, followed by his signature hands on hip head shake. After this performance against his one-time-bitter rival Smitts, he was left still shaking his head. Also, I recall this post that we are ALL.WAITING.ON.

"After a year on the Brazzers network, My username expires effective 12 midnight 10/20. Gonna change up the username and password that way you turks wont know the password to my personal finances, Emails, and Sunjuice smoothies platinum member card. You should be able to catch most of the stars that are on the porn circuit. Only downfall to this site is that only 1 person can be logged on at a time. So this is strickly in house machucando if you keep your trapt shut or else good luck tring to log in when all of Miami knows the password. Stream your vids, dont stay logged in downloading as others wont be able to log in. Look for the password on here by Wends. "

It is now Monday. Like the matchup 2 weeks ago, you have failed the league once again. Except this time, we AINT LETTING IT SLIDE. GIVE US THAT PASSWORD GOD DAMNT.

(proceeds to hyperventilate into brown paper bag)

Lou- Nigga you Corny. So so Corny. Only guy worth a tittie on this team in Vinny Chase. Ain't all the hustling in the world thats gonna save you this year.

This week's Chayanne-Smith Sensations is brought to you as always, by Chayanne, reminding you to hold on to that golf cart the way he firmly grips these bars.

- Who the fuck is Les Miles Austin
- Carson "Blow 5 touchdowns/turds out of his asshole" Palmer
- Sticky Ricky
- Big Vern Davis
- Cedric the Entertainer

Making its return for this season, is the annual Nahman Trophy, for the starter who left you saying nah-nah-nah-NAH man after this week. For week 7 it goes to:

Hines Ward- the .5 fried rice CHINO.

Who I like on Monday night, and I mean good lord this game is going to be a D.C. STINKA:

Ah, perhaps my favorite MMFB segment, the Monday Night Chief picks. I must have seen 9,000 commercials for this shit show, and even worse, I will be watching because my game is the only left to be decided. The rest of you are pardoned and thankfully can stay away from this garbage. However, me and Dfern will be on the edge of our seats, waiting to see what Ninja Turtle Maclin will do. The guy looks like a cross between Mike Jones, Andre Debose, and Steven Q. Urkel, and he plays like a cross between Andres, Louie and Dfern at the Turkey Bowl. Regardless, I don't see him getting 13 points as the Eags will run run run, ensuring a Chief victory, and Dfern being left like this in Gville.


Till next week.

- THE CHIEF
"Know your role. Chief that Bowl. Do your job."