Vol. 9 No. 4
Greetings Ghouls, it’s that time of the week where the TMFB vampire
must emerge from his coffin after incessant prodding by the Van Helsing’s of
Machucando. You guys and your middling trade offers, MMFB demands, Venmo
requests and whatnot. I swear the Hollanade plumber who took a Kebron turd to
the fache wouldn’t be able to unclog you guys from the Machee plumbing system. But
after barely surviving a North / Central Florida roadie two weeks ago, I needed
a breakie to rally back some courage. As Rich and Rubz can attest, Jacksonville was a truly spooky experience and the scares haven't stopped coming since then!
THREE UP
Happy’s Lookouts – What do the last two MMFB’s have an in
common? They have both been penned after being accosted in person by JP about
them. Where it at chief? Serve it up bro! Needless to say, no rookie has
crawled under my skin so deeply like this since Dood emerged from Flannigan’s
with a failed entrance exam that had the Birmingham Bleu Bombers as a NFC East
team. JP gets top billing for calling this a must win and delivering after his
guys cagged out and closed out the game in a non Kayaa way.
Sucka Free – Oh boy, this column is going down the shitter
quick. Not only did Dfern take the Chief’s to the shed on the field, but he
also held his own throughout the weekend by boogie’ing down at Bardot on
Friday, doubling down at Baetch on Saturday and coming through Alshmeeria on
Sundee. Easy call for the second up on the week.
Hounders – Could we have just witnessed a Machee Bowl
preview? In a clash of this year’s titans, Davey rose to the occasion and took
down the mighty Harambe like a zookeeper’s bullet trained on taking down our
sweet gorilla gawd. DaJuan Harris scoop and score was savvy enough to bring
home the W over Al, who’s heading into election night ready to be throw a
flaming bag of gorilla poop into the streets.
JUST MISSED
Bank (Dark) – What’s this chief? Why is Bank getting love
when he’s in last place AND he got twerked this week? Quite simple. El Banco brought
his big score into my life, which made this weekend pretty awesome and
positioned a longterm space capade perfectly between Club Heart (now taking
RSVP’s, who’s D?!) and Yeezy on Dec. 4.
ONE DOWN
Don Pan – You know why you’re here! Hoggish Greedly = Big Bro
SPORTS CLIPS’ HUSTLE SHUTTLING CLIPS OF THE WEEK
^ what they do to Andres when he doesn't STFU in the shop ^
MELVEEN
LATAVIUS
INGRAM
EVANS
RUSS
CMON MON
SHAMMIE DAVIS – RUBZ BERRY! GOOSE EGG! CMON MON!
JER MACLINE – RUBZ ROTISSERIE! NEXT MEAL! GOOSE EGG! CMON
MON!
MARVIN’S ROOM- I’M JUST SAYING YOU COULD DO BETTER! (emo
break………) 1 POINT! CMON MON!
DEVANTE PARKER- WTF? YOU STARTED THIS GUY, GAI? 1 POINT!
CMON MON!
Till next week, if JP finds me in the streets
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