MMFB WEEK 7

 Vol 8. No. 6

As told through the eyes of Jovan….

Hello, my friends. My name is Jovan Caro. It’s been roughly 24 hours since the group I’ve come to know, admire, love and fear have left the motherland.  I am tired, physically and mentally. The Beijing cocktail left behind by those Cuban gringos has only further left me descojonado. Juan is not happy. He is watching my ever move. But I do miss my friends….They let me ask them so many things. So let me ask you, I would say, my sheepish grin filling ever more with glee, do you guys party like all night all night, and if so, how do you do it?

I remember Luis. Hat teetering on his head. Are you a photographer? I’d ask. I do not comprehend why he took so many pictures of flowers and stained glass windows. All of sets in 4. It left me quite curious. 

I remember Francisco. The 20 seconds spent making his decision still tick tock, like sand through the hour glass of time. Pedobear met Hot Chocolate, and he left everyone awaiting his decision so quietly you could hear a mouse piss on hay a mile away. It was only upon his final, military salute that he left with a buzz cut that would make Buzz Aldrin look like a hippie.

I remember Miguel de la Mata. His emotions did all the heavy lifting during the trip. If he wasn’t rolling a jota, he was rolling en la emociones de la gente.

I remember Esteban Finca. He was a man’s man through and through. For every dime, he found a rusted penny and polished it until it was new. When there was cold, he provided warmth. Oh did he provide warmth.

I remember Guillermo. Oh, how I remember Guillermo. I cry at this moment as his demands at all hours still haunt my sleeps. He did not rest, no sir. Not from the moment his bag dropped till the moment he boarded priority. I envy him.

I remember Rubio. El nalgon. Juan’s right hand man. The punto guardia. If it wasn’t for him, I don’t know where I would be today.

And finally, I remember Moreno. El Salpicon. The man of the hour. No one was celebrated more over the course of three days then this man right here. Where he goes from here, is any body’s guess. I hope to see him again one day. And when I do, un gran abrazo, con tres leches.

Onto the goods!

4 UP

KC CHIEFS- Guess who just got back today. It’s that big ole chief that went away. Took my bye week nestled in between two bachelor parties to recharge the batteries and get back to doing what I do best. Twas only righteous and the cosmic gods smiled once again on dear chief, that as the plane took off with Loutron nuking the haunted chat, to touching down in Miami at 5:30 pm to seeing I had won with an inactive ninja turtle, that karma would be served while in Medellin to the biggest absentee to ever come across these Parque Lleras streets.

BLOOCHING- The karma stays strong! 500 words in Dinero’s albino time machine went a long way folks. Golden got shit canned and Dinero put up a self Machu high on the same Sunday to propel damn near out of the basement. To think, your trip to Asheville was almost jolted off the tracks by the sight of Smitty patrolling Terminal D. But no sir, you are backer than most with Coach Muschamp OR Coach Kiffin on the way to save the day. “Done Deal”

CRIMSON CONFEDERATES- Have to show some love to the kid who stuck his neck out there to save his season. Sunrise to sunset negotiations with Kebron paid off (not really), but you shook the cobwebs off your rank team and knocked Jav down a peg. Do it next week vs. the Davey and you might just be backer than most.

DARRYL STRAWBERRY – What’s that chief? How dare you put Fresa Al in the 3 up after his team laid a stinky goose egg that would clear out Charlotte’s Web? Well, Al shitting the bed is awesome. And Al having to clear literal shit out of his bed for the foreseeable future is awesomer. Join the MMFB in wishing a heartfelt congrats to the League’s second proud papa: Uncle AL!

1 DOWN

SUCKA FREE- Loser of 5 straight. In sole possession of last place. Missed out on Medellin. Going to need some serious Santeria to whip this kid back into shape, on and off the gridiron. Not much else to say so I’ll leave this here as requested by the men of Mede.

THE VACATION DAZE ALL-STARS: For those who balled out and deserve that vacation, but are simply just tapped out on remaining time off thus leaving them sitting at Barceloneta on Saturday night alone going DJ Khaled on the waiter passing by with the cheese course, Another One, instead of celebrating good times and good friends.

You see me standin here, like a chandelier
Gangsta of the year, sippin Belvedere

Miller Time

Kirk Primos

The Big TY Guy

Todd

Woodpecker

CMON MON

Vinny Chase Jackson- If only this were the entourage move. 1 point! CMON CMON

Orange Julius- The tight end delight esta tan rico. When will the TE hotline bling. 0.9! CMON MON

The Den- Going into Monday night and the only double digit you got is from your defense. Your whole team must have went in on a Brazzers Live episode and ended up more pajaio then the Medellin men. CMON MON

Legarette- Let’s be blount. This guy is going to make your hair grey. NEGATIVO! CMON MON

Who I like on Monday night, and I mean, another game to blow off!

Ah, perhaps my favorite Monday Morning Fullback segment, the Monday Night Chief picks. Man, these primetime nighters have been true stinkers up to now. Luckily that ends this week with Fins on Thursday night and Packers / Broncos next Sundee. But this one is all over, except for one primetime game. Rene has a four point lead and Arizona throw that D over Kebron’s Justin Forsett. This one is closer than the experts think and I have no idea which way it will go so I’ll take the upset special and baby bro.

Till next week, paisa.

KC CHIEFS