MMFB Week 6

Vol. 5 No. 6

(Self Pic time)

Holy jambalaya tits, it’s a Monday morning and I am feeling particularly namby pamby.  I mean, I literally typed in holy and couldn’t make it to jambalaya without having to race to the bathroom to unleash a nuclear turtlehead…….whew, I’m back and it was messy.  Following a raucous Dolphins tailgate that was once again 10,000 times more exciting than watching Brian Hartline go from white to translucent, my encabronado-ness is piqued. The saving grace being that KeBron and Dirty rallied up some mamalotas, which was great as I came through in true chief fashion by delivering a 20 lb Zelda Jav approved ni pinga fish.

That’s all you get for the weekend wrap up. Sorry, no tales of me looking marvelous in Carolina blue on Saturday. No, I will not break you off with the latest on the No. 2 ranked Florida Gators. In fact, I don’t know why I continue to acquiesce those noble groans of moar coming from the Machucando peanut gallery seeing a complete and utter disregard for posting worthy content on the boards. With every little victory this league achieves (Lou shrinking into the Weston shadows, the celebratory stench coming from the bottom third of the league), the league gets a setback from the silent clowns just meandering around Machucando. Don’t get me wrong, not begging for more posting. In fact, PLEASE STOP POSTING DFERN. But I am looking for something….moar. FOR GOD SAKES THERE’S PICTURES LIKE THIS FLOATING AROUND THE INTERNET.

ONTO THE GOODS

3 UP

LOS SANDUSKERS RTR- Time to get my Rene certified reverse jinx on. It’s over broman. Congrats. Andres gets top billing for dreaming the impossible dream and defeating the Chief to reach the golden 6-0 plateau. Got to finally acknowledge that the kid’s team has gone ramshod on the league and all of you are sitting there and take it like a Canes fan in Sun Life waiting on the Seminoles. That said, if you slap him, he doth bleed. Kid barely sniffed a hundred for the first time this season pre Demariyus while the Chiefs failed to hit 100 temporarily for the first time. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to pretend this never happen.

DON PAN- Wow. Come here and give ole chiefy a hug. With Smitty anxious (too anxious?) to put the final nail on your coffin, the baker finally busted out with a bag full of rolls and sopped it over your head like homey the clown. The Don Pan deadbeats finally broke out led by a pair of panhands racking up 43 points. A long road in front of the current belt holder, but for grabbing Sm

itty by the undies and dragging him down into the basement with you, go ahead and…

BLOOCHING- That was awesome. No posting, no claims, just coming in quiet and grabbing worthless shit off the wire in true Dinero fashion. It’s like the Hurricanes on National Signing Day all over again. Normally, I’d get angry, but I don’t even know what to say. He ate a whole wheel of cheese? He started James Casey and still won in convincing fashion over Booben, who’s had one happy Thursday morning mired between 6 weeks of Fantasy hell. Congrats bicho. Count those stacks, continue ignoring Machucando. Salud!

3 DOWN

LO VISTE- Think fast buddy!

TEAM NO SLEEP- Sleep well, fair prince.

 LASCATIONS SENSATIONS- In a battle of the buds, baby bro came just shy of the century mark and doubly shy of taking down Tones. Take a small victory in the fact Tones will never be in the 3 up again! Unless he beats Rubz, obviously.

THE HEISENBERGS

A.RODG- First 50 pointer of the season. Just a shtickel. Whatley style.

AJ- Rolling Green.

Shonne Green- Make some of fun of someone for a month plus and they’ll eventually make you look stupid. Except for Shonne Greene. This guy fuckin sucks.

RG III- His guest spot in the league was on point via Ruxin. His performance against Dfern was even better.

LO COMISTE

Reminder, you MUST throw up a Lo Viste over your ombligo when reading these.

Burner Turner- There she is. 3.5. #LoComiste

Scott Chandler- Channeling my inner Frau Farbizina, SCOTTTTTTTTTTTTT! .5 #LoComiste

Mendenhall- Mendaum feeza chant. 1.5 #LoComiste

Hartline- GOOSEGG! #LoComiste

Who I like on Monday Night, and I mean San Diego, Super Chargers:

Ah, perhaps my favorite MMFB segment, the Monday night chief picks. Only one game truly left in the balance and whaddayaknow, it’s another Monday night with all eyes rooting against the Chief. Down twanky with elite options going at RB1 and TE, but Andreshesito still has Demariyus locked and loaded. Just not feeling it tonight. Chalk one up against the bad guys. Andresh, you make that trailer park rock tonight.

TILL NEXT WEEK.

-CHIEF