MMFB Week 3

Vol. 5. No. 3

(Dadeland via Para-Para-Paradise)- Greetings small timers and big tymers! Coming to you live from the King Chief Queen bed and nowhere else bc I'm off today, it's another installment of your favorite Monday morning cringe piece..the FULLBACK. I'll get right into the chief life recap because good lordy do I have plenty to give to to the people today. Fresh from a Thursday to Sunday afternoon Vegas bender that saw myself, Rubz, Rene, Uncle Al and a host of wily fringe characters throw it down, I'm hurting. Physically sure, but 1 chevy, 2 pool parties, 3 clubs, 4 wicked spoon meals and 5 hundee plus in the pocket making its way back to the land of real money has taxed me. I can't go into details for obvious reasons so I will just highlight it

Highlights
-Milf Huntin (puts on camo)
-Liquid cheeks
-Marquee Day Club Jewbans
-Benny Bennassi spinning live. CORNY.
 -Saturday college football betting. (does EJ Manuel slide)
-SW Filet's
-Same damn timing, Witherspooning, CatDaddying with Jermaine Dupri spinning at Tryst
-ONTO THE GOODS

3 UP

Parrot Heads- The first fluff goes to the arctic wonder who finally melted the polar ice caps in Vegas. Al crushed his bets, and put in work all trip long settling in to quite the de facto party sustainer role. It was like watching one of D$'s ballyhoo'd recruits (read: every single fuckin one) come in and knock the piss out of someone. But the best highlight, was a tostado Al telling me at the pool party, Chief, all I want is to destroy Smitty in Fantasy on Sunday. He wanted it bad folks. And lady luck gave it to him. Congrats on your Hater's Bowl victory, I pray it stirs Smitty into finally penning a matchups column.

Lascations Sensations- Look at this little mojonsito. Perhaps the only person, along with Smitts, that would have been in their element these past couple of days in heaven, Kebron just keeps crushing it. Sure against a little herbie like Davey, but no love lost for smoking Machucando hamhock's like Davey boy. I award you this picture of M.Dot.Tizz at the pool party:

Lo Viste- But chief, I'm undefeated at just beat Tones! Andres, go pass out after drinking a can of Pabst so we can put another kielbasa dong next to your face. The last 3 up member also makes an appearance in the 3 down, but have to give the man props for seeing a Vegas rebirth out of him. Vegas 1 aka Dfern's Dastardly Deli was a meat-lovers first time romp through the olde west, but this time, sprinkled with some party rock and collective Jaguar guidance, Rubz was back on top. Saw a twinkle in the man's eye that could only be attributed to doing Vegas right. Much like his fantasy team, he was intrigued by it all...

 

 3 DOWN

Lo Viste- See's Machucando team in dead last after 3 weeks. Notice's Loria avi couldn't be more appropriate. At work on a Monday after Vegas. Walloped mercilessly by KC Chiefs. Syndicated.

Gronksanity-  Finally, this team of superglued shit is finally breaking apart at the seams. Hankerson? That's a Dinero move. Reggie Bush's knee got naiceee and balky balki and Gronky Kong slipped on a nanner. You can step up and totally redeem yourself by lashing out at Andres.

Team No Sleep- WOOF. I think Davey may legitimately go winless at this rate. It's Julio and a whole lotta nothing out there. The league has been whispering of maybe incorporating some Memphis style bbq or dare I say, some sashimi to next year's draft menu. Just things I want to keep on your radar.

THE HEISENBERG'S

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Pankay de Jamalle Charles- He's still running down Bourbon street.

Big Ben- Please don't ever return Mendy.

Megatron- Garbage time Don

AJ- Rolling Green.
MoJo- Lav's / Jou's boy finally on the come up.

LO COMISTE! (gif of myself after boarding flight back after just eating a Baja Fresh EXPRESS burrito)

Dexter- Chav's favorite shown turned Rene's poorest play. You redeem yourself and Dex into the Heisenberg's if you made this roster decision pool side. 1.5 points. #LoComiste
Jason Witten- Romo's riblets. 1 point. #LoComiste
Wait...what??? Steven Jax & Steven Ridley- KeBron's RB 1 AND 2 put up a combined 6 points and he still took a dump on Davey's dome. #LoComiste

Who I like on Monday Night, and I mean I'm going to Lambeau Leap off the roof of the Hollanade:

Ah, perhaps my favorite MMFB segment, the Monday night chief picks. Only 1 game left to hammer out this week and boy is it a smelly one. Smellier than a china dunked in soy sauce at the CRUB in Vegas. Oh rearry? Dfern's sporting a 13 point wood with A. Rodg left to roll, while D cent sign has a Jordy hedge and Skittles McGee. Fortune favors the bold, and Machucando favors those who participate. God forgives, Chief doesn't. Dfern with the W!

Till next week!

-CHIEF