Let us begin with a moment of silence for my boy Danny Boy Cane...he did not survive Saturday's goalline stand. I can only imagine the bro shit storm that went down postgame in that stadium. Makes me feel alive again. Then I think back to all the cafecitos and grits that went down and I remember I looked like this coming into my shoebox cubicle.
So other then the majority of the league being present at a little spot off Lincoln known as HAVEN ( #teamCastlesInTheWind ), I'm sure something must have gone down yesterday. Something in the NFL...perhaps in Drew Carey's hometown of Cleveland? NOPE. NOTHING. KILL IT WITH FIRE. DO NOT WANT. But shiet, life ain't much better in Machucando during an off week with no matchups or honkies. Thank god for Lou, (and the ability to cross reference living room sets on facebook wink!) who thus far has provided the boards with enough eye candy to satisfy even the biggest poon fiend's sweettooth. PLEASE, EVERYONE, DO NOT RUSH ALL AT ONCE TO CONTRIBUTE SOMETHING. Current Machu poster power rankings:
1. AND 11.) Lou- There is dated, scantily clad, shmokin hot pics...and there is everything else.
2.) Smitty- No where near as constantly lurking through the bushes of the board as last year, but one of the lone people who brings HATE and ROASTING in a season filled with huggies and kissies so far.
3.) Dinero- Jewess's, and an extremely well written column about pigment challenged athletes.
4.) The Chief- Death, taxes and the MMFB. Stuff you can just count on.
5.-10.) DICK LICKER CENTRAL. MOOCH AVENUE. COMPLAIN CIRCLE. BITCHIN BLVD.- if you are here, would love to see you jump to the level of the also named.
11.-12.) Lou & Rubz- I've heard complaints from multiple GM's and everyone agrees the snarky, cutesy, sayings pictures were nice at first, but after the 100th one, here's a recommendation: save the post pics for when you find one thats amazing. Like this-
Onto the goods!
3 UP
KC Chiefs- The easiest part of my day right here. Until further notice, you guys should enjoy my new makeover courtesy of Tawhmy, Wes and Gronk.
La Flama Blanca- Yesterday's RedZone host with the most, and week 3's second highest post total gets a little love Stevie Janowski style. Dfern is feeling 10 feet tall and strong as an ox right now behind McFadden's whopper of a day. His team is facing a change in strategy with the loss of the other famous Kenny (Britt) for possibly the season.
BILL BRASKY- Look at this hard tootin, hard fartin, porn cashin 20 foot giant...BILL BRASHKY. Got to give Davey some love only because who knows if he will ever score that many points again and he finally took a plunger to the fat overrated turd that is Andres. Speaking of...
3 DOWN
T-Rich- Contrary to popular belief, I ain't exactly a ladies man. I get mines...OH I GET MINES. But one thing I do know for all of my love of the stars and stripes, if you are ever dressed like this out in public, your penis is on notice that it is in for a trip to the octagon with your hand for five rounds. Rear.Naked.Choke.
Lou- The following is a true story. Find out what happens when Lou, dangling from a ledge, asks Michael Vick to save him.
Don Pan- All sizzle, No steak. Got to peenalize the Don for letting ruben's all-word team beat em. Don Pan hasn't been able to catch a break on the Sunday/Monday nighters. As kebron has said 12,937 times on the board, DEEEE PINGAAAA.
Who I like on Monday night, and I mean Rex Grossman should come out to Jackie Moon's Love me Sexy:
Ah, perhaps my favorite MMFB segment, the Monday night chief picks. After week 2, all systems are firing in Chief land, predictably, as I stand 4 for 4 on my stone cold lock of the week chief pics. These things are IRON CLAD folks! Let's see what we got here. Got to give Rubz at least 5 points behind that mamerto THT for the W. The Parrot Heads have an intriguing play, but Dfern's point cushion plus Santana gives him a W. The last matchup is the toughy, Kebron with a 12 point cushion trotting out Dezzly, while Lou has his toe in the water with Jinxy cat. Got to go Kebron going away on this one.
Till next week!
-THE CHIEF
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