TMFB Playoffs I

Vol. 3 No. 13

No rhyme or reason to the fullback today other then pure joy and unbridled ecstasy. I'm bringing out the South Miami jook because it's that kind of morning and taking a different approach to today's intro....that's right, before I get into the goods, I want to give a little break down of just how big of an idiot I am? What's that you say, the chief ain't gonna serenade us with his patented Will Ferrell self bj technique? NO SIR. Shall we?

-Started Kyle Orton over Big Ben: Kyle MOTHERFUCKING Orton. I will not trust this shit for brains to even field phone calls at the Hollanade, much less lead my team to victory right? Wrong. -2 points lmao. I'm an idiot.



(pictured: MouthbreathingFucktard)

-Using a waiver pick and moving into starting flex Donald Duck: I should have known from the look in Kebron's eyes that this viejo's quads are more cashed than Dinero after a night of freestyling Gimme the Loot to cap his own wedding. But na, trot this mojon out as some sort of twisted fake A-Rodg hedge for 2 points. I'm an idiot.

-Dropping San Diego D who pitched a shut out on Brodie Croyle to start Asante Samuel-less Philly D. I'm an idiot.

-Starting an INACTIVE pigeon toe'd skeletor foot'd DIVO in Antonio Gates for a goose egg. I'm an idiot.

The moral of the story: For all the mistakes I made and idiot moves I did this week, I trudge on with my head held high in Mach because as history has shown, 99 percent of you will inevitably fuck it up worse 99 percent of the time.

Moving on...



(chief at :6 seconds)

Lou, D-Turd, KeBron, D-Money....GON.FISHIN. Some short obit's shall we:

Lou- Hard not to give LP a looksee for Most Improved GM of the Year during this year's 2010 Award Ceremony in the near future, but as the saying goes, a day late, a buck short. The god's/A-Rodg's crystal skull were not going to have me lose to a no participating, trade text ignoring TURKEY. No sir. I wish you the best of luck as you enter the offseason, offer you props for making it your furthest since your rookie campaign and encourage you to hit the campaign trail running, not walking, as the league vote approaches for 2011.

KeBron- Off the field, that's how it done. Solid posting/hating from every which way be it the saved by the bell morning or the after school special. Plus the proper league good bye post? Stand up move K and that's how its done. Many of the mojons in here could learn a thing or two from you. On the field, improvement, but just a bit outside (c) Major League as Wild Thing throws a pitch into the dugout. Made some great moves on the trade circuit and was in it till the end. But as the Miami Hurricanes say, There's always next year (baby bro.)

D-Money- Like clockwork and any good blooch sesh that starts off raging, the money man got a chin check in the form of his usual late season swoon as the blooch came crashing down like a man with no pick me up. The self proclaimed member of Miami's new student section, "The Golden Bro's", D$ knows he did the league wrong this year as he sought and received my official pardon on the night of his wedding. What can I say, I respect Italian tradition of never turning down a favor at a wedding. That said, Lou x 2, get on the campaign trail pre-vote. As Rene said, "Playing in Machucando is not a right, it's a privilege." Step your game up and get back at it.

D-turd- What can I say other than....thank you? Your four loko like implosion set me up rather nicely in my run for the belt. I guess the gods recognize when a man says preseason, "I want Rene to win (slurp), before anyone else wins it again (slurpppp)." In all honesty though, you put together a midseason run that had everyone running shitting their pants and will be thusly likely honored at the awards ceremony. Your participation on the board was much appreciated though it wasn't strong in quality nor quantity, and I look forward to seeing you next year straddling Davey while you guys share a ham radio that goes straight into Pat Summerall's sex dungeon for draft advice. (Scrambly voice: Draft Breaston ya faggots!)

Enough with the look back, the awards ceremony whenever I shart them out will do plenty of that. It's a time a brief look forward (w/out tackling the matchups, Smitts can deliver ONE LAST FINALE por fa?) and recognize this year's Final Four.

Chiefs- I feel like Brent Wiltz at the Piccadilly. Nuff said.



Danga Danga- The number one seed in no one's eyes but his own, I congratulate Smitty on extinguishing Dinero and moving forward into the Semi-finals against...

Don Pan- WHAT.A.TREAT. After tremendo bounce back season, Rene finds himself in the hunt this year, but what.a.matchup! This is great. Two of the main characters in Larry Fitzgerald gate with a "storied" fantasy past to put it nicely, go toe to toe in what should be a slobberknocker for a chance at the Machu Bowl. All I know is I will be like this come Sunday (sorry Michael Jackson/Scarlett Johanson popcorn gifs...Eddie Griffin FTW)



BOOBEN- My brother in BOOM, my senor in SMOAK, Rubz finds himself in unchartered waters with an upset appearance to reach the semifinals against yours truly. The history is there. The rivalry is there. Machu Bowl appearance at stake so we shall see who the HEATER favors on Sunday.

And with that, I will wrap this up.






TILL NEXT WEEK.

-THE CHIEF
"Know your role. Chief that Bowl. Do your job."